Most everyone would agree that good communication is key to any relationship. First and foremost, it is important to remember that you want to talk with the other person, not at them. You are on the same team.
Communications is not a win/lose situation, but rather a chance to get to know each other better. You need to convey your message in a way which is easy to hear and understand, but you must also be willing to listen to what the other person has to say. Although this may seem basic, it often doesn’t happen.
There are three basic ways of communicating: aggressively, passively and assertively. The best way to understand these three types of communication is as follows:
Aggressive communication:
Does not respect the other person’s thoughts and feelings. It often takes the form of blaming the other person for what is wrong.
Passive communication:
Respects the other person’s thoughts and feelings but not their own. It often takes the form of avoidance or victim.
Assertive communication:
Respects both!!
Click here to learn a formula for assertive communication that respects both you and your partner.
Sharon S. Bremer, LCSW
Licensed Clinical Social Worker